Upholding Property Values through Fear.

So, let me tell you about myself. The name is Sergei Korchaviv, though most people know me better as The Faceless Bastard. I'm a russian immigrant to Canada and I live on a mostly quiet street. I'm the unnofficial head of the neighbourhood watch and association. The association is made up of myself and three other people who all do exactly as I say and together we set the basic standards for life in this neighbourhood and I make it very clear what happens if anyone fails to meet those standards. Like I did with Mr. Greeley. Was it Greeley? I think it was... I don't care to go back and check and he doesn't seem to want to talk to me for some reason. Not very neighbourly of him.

Some of the more astute of you may be wondering, how the hell does this work? Why hasn't anyone called the cops on me? Why does no one stand up to me?

Well in order the answers are, quite well thank you, they did and that is why I don't have a neighbour on the other side anymore and they do, but they usually aren't capable of standing up afterwards. See, here's the deal. I'm not just some crazy psychopath, running this neighbourhood like a tiny tinpot dictatorship, I'm a magical crazy psychopath, running this neighbourhood like a tiny tinpot Theocratic Dictatorship. The police who came after me were disappeared and any records of them were removed from the police department records. The person who snitched on me, was mysteriously struck by lightning... In her basement. Her husband was struck by lightning as well, two provinces away during a business trip and all those who try to stand up to me learn they are not fighting a man, they are fighting a monster who works as the mortal will of a powerful and angry god.

Why don't people just move away? Oh they do. I even let them, but the eyes of my god watch them everywhere they go and if they ever speak of what happens in my neighbourhood, they'll never be able to speak again.

So, that is how my happy little neighbourhood continues to run content and free as long as everyone continues to listen to me.

Now, you may also wonder... Who is this god of mine?

Well... Let me tell you about my God... Wait wait... Let me do this right...

*Ding dong* Have you heard the good news about The Convocation?