Innocence is gone... Only Fear to play with...

So... some of you may have noticed I haven't posted in a while.

Some of you may have assumed me dead.

Some of you may have hoped me dead.

Well, I'm still alive. I've actually been free for a while now I just... Haven't been able to write.

People say their life felt like it was turned upside down when they find out about the Fears... The Gods? That term sounds wrong now.

The birds inside me are wary... I can hear them thinking. Wondering whether or not to kill me.

I have not turned against them, but they figure it is only a matter of time and I... am not sure I can't agree.

The Convocation saved me after the fire. My wife betrayed me, my children were stolen from me, my very body, my sight all taken from me, but the birds were there for me after the fire. All the worst things that happened were because of the fire. It led me to the dark place where I willingly became a monster and embraced the darkness.

The fire... The Birds saved me from the results of the fire, but...

Perhaps I should explain. When the doors open I found myself looking not at 11 or 12, but a buff looking man. I didn't have my machete so I tackled him weaponless. I'm not really heavy and I might be hollow so, even less heavy? I don't know about that one, but regardless, my tackle wasn't all that effective. He tossed me away and I slammed into some crates. We were in a warehouse. He came over to me then reached down and grabbed me by the metal mask and lifted me up. I kicked him in the balls. I'm not ashamed. I am a dirty bastard and I do not fight fair. He dropped me, but didn't quite buckle like I was expecting. I attacked in a fury, throwing punches at his face and chest, he blocked most of them, but then I swept his legs out from under him and he fell hard. I heard his head crack as it hit the ground. He was only dazed though. He was one tough motherfucker, but his mistake was having a weapon on him and remaining dazed long enough for me to get it. It was a simple flip knife and I made quick use of it before he could react. The first stab was supposed to go to the throat, but it didn't quite hit. He shifted and I stabbed him in the shoulder instead. He tried to wrench the knife from my grip, but I got it out first and slashed at his back as he tried to roll away. He got to his feet and I got into a fighting stance. His arm seemed to hurt him, but he got into a fighting stance as well. Unfortunately for him I suddenly didn't feel much like fighting and so instead I took the knife to myself cutting a large gash into my arm from which the birds emerged.

He punched one of the birds in the face, as it flew at him, hard enough to break it's neck which was damn impressive to watch, but the birds overwhelmed him and I heard him scream as they tore the flesh from his face. I then began to search around. 11 and 12 had to be here and I was going to find them. It didn't take long.

There was an office upstairs in the warehouse and I opened the door and was met with a rush of flame. I barely dodged it, the birds weren't so lucky. 12 stepped out of the office. wearing what looked like a homemade flamethrower pack and turned it towards me. I tossed the knife at him and it skinned his cheek causing him to flinch and then I rushed at him. Shoulder checking worked a lot better then tackling and I smashed him against the rail. the pack on his back was dented and began to leak. He hit me in the side of the head with the gun part of his flamethrower, but the iron mask they gave me is surprisingly durable and I barely noticed it and punched him in the face.

It occurs to me... I haven't addressed this already, but after I killed Zero, none of the times I've seen the Children have they had that defense mechanism of theirs.

Anyway, that punch knocked him senseless. He's a tough kid, but he is just a kid and I tossed him to the ground and tore that pack off of him before lifting him up by the throat.

"Oh... I have wanted to do this for so long," I said before tossing him over the railing and watched him fall down to the ground below. It wasn't too far, but it was far enough. I heard 11 scream, she was inside the office and had seen the fight. I wasn't bothered, by the scream, but what she screamed.

"Harold!" she screamed as she watched him fall and I turned to her... I looked back at my last post before writing this and saw WereMagi's comment... I guess I seem like an idiot for not having realized it before, but it wasn't until now that it had even occurred to me. I stood frozen as she rushed over to the railing to look back at her brother, my son and I spoke in almost a whisper,

"Tamara?" I asked and she turned on me  and then punched me in the gut winding me and I dropped to my knees.

"Hey dad... Good to see you," she said and her voice was filled with anger. I tried to get back up, but she lifted her foot and kicked the side of my head, it didn't hurt, but it knocked me back down and then she stepped on me. Either my strength had ebbed quite a bit or it was the emotional shock, but I couldn't get back up with her holding me down... Maybe she was actually just that strong.

"You know... I'm kind of glad this happened. I've wanted to talk to you... Wanted so badly to tell you, but until just now I hadn't had the courage to do so..." she said and her voice sounded broken, like she was struggling with the words. I felt a bird starting to try and release itself from the hole in my arm and I turned my arm to press it against the grated floor of the catwalk. I don't know why... I wanted to hear what she was going to say.

"Harold... Was too young to remember and with all that happened, I doubt it ever occurred to you, but do you remember the day of the fire. Not when the fire happened, but just before that? Do you remember me asking you a question?" she asked and the memory snapped back to me.

She had been looking out the window and had asked in a curious voice...

"Why are there so many birds outside today?" I repeated and she took her foot off of me and stepped back and slipped a hand into her pocket as she picked up the pack Harold had been wearing.

"I'm glad you remember and I can tell that you're realizing the implications. Now let that thought be with you as we go see my brother and mother in hell," she said and drew a lighter out of her pocket. I realized what she was going to do and released the bird that was still trying to get out, it flew at her, but it was still too late. I don't know what was in the pack exactly, but whatever it was exploded when the flame was brought to the liquid leaking out of it.

I woke up a bit later lying on the ground of the warehouse. My entire body was aching and my clothes were burned and I was cut open in a number of places. I probably should have been dead... Tamara definitely was.

Twice I've survived a deadly explosion at close range... A miracle I guess... I don't really have much desire to figure it out...

After I made it home I thought long and hard about what she meant...

I feel like it had been obvious and much like I had been so blind as to not realize who 11 and 12 were I can't believe I'd never realized it before. The Convocation had set it all up... The Convocation had caused the fire. The convocation were the ones who ruined my life. Why? Just so they could get me to serve them?

I mean yeah I'm a damn good servant, but...

They took everything from me...

I'm not sure what to do now and neither are they.

Oh and I suppose I can cross 6, 11 and 12 off my list as well as 9... So, that's just 3 and 4 left... I suppose if I ever feel like caring about any of that again I'll have to go after them at some point. Assuming The birds don't decide it's too risky to keep me alive now...

Did not disappoint.

Didn't sleep at all last night waiting and was not surprised, but was a little amused when someone tossed a grenade through the window of what was the guest bedroom of Oliver's house. This of course woke up Oliver. He was none too pleased about his guest bedroom being destroyed, but when I told him it was The Dying Man he asked me to tell The Facet he had nothing to do with this and to kindly try not to wake him when he killed me.

Got to say Oliver's new more annoyed attitude is much more endearing than his old chipper helpful attitude.

Oh right I should probably explain that I was not in the guest bedroom at any point. I was in the kitchen. Drinking soda and waiting for the sign of attack. I like Ginger Ale mostly. Canada Dry only though Schweppes is fucking garbage.

Anyway so, I waited a bit expecting more, but there wasn't anything. Part of me was worried that he had just tossed the grenade and ran away. I dropped to the ground and rolled over to the front window and peeked out. No sign of him, but there was a motorcycle on the front lawn and I figured he wouldn't have left that here when he ran off. So, he was either out there or had snuck inside. Did I want to jump out through the Picture window and hope to find him and confront him outside or did I want to wait and see if I could find him inside.

I weighed the pros and cons of both strategies... It should be obvious that the idea of pissing off Oliver by breaking his picture window put that option way over the other. So, I did. As I was jumping through the window I glanced down to see The facet lying just beneath the window and pulling out another grenade. He saw me and then I was on the grass and rolled to my feet turning and facing him as I pointed my machete at him. He stood up and smiled,

"You sure know how to make an entrance," he says

"I'm pretty sure that was an exit," I responded.

"Is this your plan? Confront me in a one on one fight?"

"Of course not. I have an actual plan this time," I responded. There was something strange about him and it took me a few minutes to figure it out.

"Are... Are you a woman this time?"

"Yes, problem?"

"No... Just not sure if I should still be calling you he/him now..."

"Either way..."

"Right,"

"So, what happens now?" he asked and I answered by letting out a battle cry and charging at him. He dived to the side and rolled swinging out with the cane and I lifted my foot and stomped down on the cane. I expected it to break. It didn't instead it rolled under my foot as he let go sending me falling backwards onto my ass and he pounced on top of me. His hands moved to my throat as he straddled me and grinned.

"I could choke the life out of you, but that would take a while and you'd probably be able to kill me before then in any number of ways, however all I have to do to kill you is let myself into you," he said and then nothing... I don't remember any of what happened next. Probably because I wasn't in control at the time. I can guess though. Poor little Facet probably found the friend I had waiting for him. I mean when I was thinking how does one kill The Dying Man I thought of what Facet said and that reminded me of what Facet said his reason was for wanting to join The children. He was afraid of the other Shards. He didn't want to be absorbed. So, I found A dying Man shard who was looking to absorb other Shards and told him the plan. He agreed although with some stipulations and here we are.

When I woke up I was lying on the lawn and The Facet was gone. I'm fairly sure The Facet is dead or will at least be completely dead soon when the other Shard manages to find and absorb every last trace of him.

I was confused about whether or not I won last time this time, however I definitely won. Though winning became slightly less awesome. See, when I woke up on the lawn I wasn't alone. There was someone else kneeling beside me waiting for me to wake up. It was 12. My machete wasn't in my hand and instead my hands were bound with rope.

"I'm not going to kill you. Not yet... 11 won't let me. She says as much as we both hate you there is a bigger target we can hurt through you and only once we've done that can we kill you. So... You're going to be coming with me," he said and then reached down and grabbed me by the arms and dragged me over to a truck that was waiting. I was loaded onto the back of the truck and I saw Oliver watching from the broken window.

What a dick.

Oh some people are going to be anal about how I'm posting this. That's easy. I got my hands free during the truck ride. So, I'm posting this on my phone. Thought about calling some friends to help me, but my reason for not doing so were twofold. One, needing to ask others for help would severely ruin my reputation and second, I don't have any friends. Unfortunately the truck doesn't open to the driver seat and the back of the truck doors are locked. As well, my normal mask appears to have been replaced at some point with a new mask that I can't seem to get off. I tried using my phone's mirror app and it looks almost like the Iron Mask from The Man in The Iron Mask. Kind of cool looking. Might keep it.

The truck appears to be stopping so... We'll see what's going on. Maybe I'll get lucky and I'll be able to kill 11 and 12 today.

Everything is prepared.

So... I am absolutely ready for you Facet and I have no problem saying that here. Why? Because just like me you're overconfident. You don't think any plan I make will work. I know you'll read this and you'll think...

"He can't actually have a plan. He might think he has a plan, but he's an idiot. He doesn't really know what he's talking about, so I'll just go there and show him how wrong he is" and then you will die.

However, if you're overconfidence isn't enough I've also printed out a number of posters which I intend to plaster around the city. Particularly at O'briens.

They read as follows:

"Hey The Facet, 9, The Dying Man or whatever you want to be called. I am The faceless Bastard. You are my little bitch. I thought I would put these all around so everyone would know that you are my little bitch and people could react appropriately. If you disagree with the absolute fact of your complete and other submission to me and my awesomeness you know where to find me. Signed, your better, The Faceless Bastard."

Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the feeling you and I are a lot alike and I'm pretty sure that you like me would be pretty pissed about someone publicly calling you out like that especially in places you frequent. I'm fairly sure The Other Dying Men might find some of these posters as well and you wouldn't want them to see you so utterly cowed you wouldn't even be willing to go meet some mortal to restore your reputation right?

Anyway I await your response. I expect your response to be spectacular. If it's anything less than an attack that completely destroys Oliver's house I will be severely disappointed in you.

Actually thinking...

As the title says I am going to have a long hard think about how to deal with this whole Facet problem...

Apparently The Facet and 9 are in fact one and the same entirely. The Dying Man is a member of The Children of Nothing which means that without killing him once and for all... (The Shard known as The Facet I mean not The Dying Man entirely) I can never fully complete my job of killing every last one of The Children.

I have consulted with others and I think I may have come up with a cunning plan, for how to deal with The Facet though...

Gonna take some preparations though...

Oh and lastly I saw 11 again. There was no sign of 12, but I saw her through the window of Oliver's house and she was just standing outside looking at the house and flicking a lighter open and closed. She noticed me looking and by the time I had jumped out the window to confront her she was gone...

I should point out the window was closed at the time. Oliver told me I'm paying for the new window... I told him I could fix it for him instead. Using various parts of his anatomy. He probably responded, but I stopped paying attention at this point. He'll inevitably decide that it's not worth it trying to argue with me and just fix the window himself.

Where was I? Oh right... The Facet. So, yeah I have a plan to deal with him. Maybe...

Also fuck him again for trying to play mind games with me. What an asshole...

Fuck you no.

I woke up  this morning to find this:http://theneverchildren.blogspot.ca/2016/12/congratulations-are-in-order.html

Open on my computer. I know what you're trying to suggest, but fuck you. I know it's not true. The me in that other universe was told by a shard in the other universe that you can't possess me! You will not get into my headspace!

Fuck you and your mindgames!

And stay the fuck out of my house.

Also... Merry False Holiday based on your False God to you all.

Unless you're a timberwolf celebrating Corpsemas today in which case happy holidays.

The Facet

Okay... So I think I might have figured this out... I am hopefully wrong, but I'm probably right. I know how you survived and I know what you are. I think...

So... What's a Facet?

As much as I want to tell you all to figure that out yourself the meaning is rather important to my point.

A facet is "One side of something many sided"

Now calling yourself The Facet while being part of a religious group might seem arguably normal. One of the many or something, but he only started calling himself The Facet after he acknowledge The Children don't really exist anymore so it must mean something else... So I thought...

What else could be a facet..

and it hit me... Or actually I suppose I should admit that I was mumbling this to myself when Oliver answered for me, but screw him.

I was asking myself about facets when Oliver sat down beside me told me that my mumbling was starting to irk him and that he was pretty sure he could help me. I told him to fuck off and he said:

"Okay, fine, but first two things. Could you do your mumbling in your own room and not the living room and also he's a shard," then he walked away.

So... Yeah The Facet... One of many. A Shard of The Dying Man.

Which explains why he didn't die. He did, but he was probably possessing someone else somewhere else as well. So... The question becomes so... Did I win then? Did I kill 9? I mean I didn't kill The Facet, but 9 was the person The Facet was possessing right so my target in The Children is still dead?

Can I forget about The Facet? I mean he still seems intent on killing me, but... Um... I only really wanted to kill 9... I do not care about The Dying Man.

Oh should also explain for the benefit of anyone reading this who doesn't know... The Dying Man is another one of The Gods. He or I guess technically it is a being that has no physical form and instead possesses the bodies of others and jumps from person to person with a touch. Apparently it was once one super powerful being, but now for some reason it's a bunch of much weaker beings who are all the same being, but go by different names.

Frankly I'm pretty sure they're just one weak creature with delusions of grandeur and a major case of disassociative identity disorder.

O'brien's must have a really comprehensive insurance policy...

So, went to O'briens quite a bit earlier than I said I would.

I don't have an amazing memory, but the birds do. I wanted to see if I could recognize him. I went in... Well disguise is a strong word. I eschewed my normal mask for a motorcycle helmet and went there hoping I could figure out who he was before he figured out who I was. He said he'd been there before and is fairly regular. O'briens doesn't have that many regulars. There aren't many servants who make a home in the area and so, most of the people who show up and aren't runners are usually just passing through. So, I was hoping the birds would be able to pinpoint anyone I had seen at O'briens before.

There were exactly three people I had seen before. One was the bartender, one was a doll who worked in the area and the last was a proxy of The Faceless Bastard who comes here fairly regularly. He provides some of the money O'briens requires to stay in business since most servants, myself included don't really pay for our drinks or food. The rest of his income comes from pawning the stuff we steal off runners who fall for the trap.

So, he probably wasn't the proxy, definitely wasn't the bartender and I was fairly sure he wasn't the doll. Had I been lied to? Well... I don't know. The man who sat down at my table and addressed me as Sergei certainly wasn't a face the birds or I remembered seeing here before. He had a cane with a spiked point at the tip and a circular knob at the top with a symbol of a skull engraved in it. He was wearing a monocle with a chain, the chain was wrapped around the brim of a top hat and he was wearing a heavy fur coat.

"Hello, Sergei. I wasn't expecting you till noon," he paused, well actually I was expecting you much later. I assumed you would try for one last bit of pettiness and make me wait an hour or so after noon had passed,"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," I tried, but his response shook me.

"Well, true you might not be The faceless Bastard. You aren't the only one here who's face is hidden after all. You are, however the only nest with a hidden face,"

"You can tell I'm a nest just by looking?"

"I can identify all kinds of servants at a glance," he said before proceeding to point out every servant in the bar and who they worked for. It was somewhat enlightening. I was not actually aware the new bartender was a Camper...

Speaking of I quietly decided not to drink here anymore at this point. 

"So, you're 9 then?"

"I am, though with The Children gone I suppose you can call me by a different name. Call me The Facet,"

"The Facet?"

"Yes," he said. I waited, but he didn't seem to be intent on explaining the name.

"So, why did you want to meet?"

"Oh... No reason in particular. I just thought you were interesting and wanted to meet just once face to face and get to know you before our next meeting ended in your death," he answered.

It was... Well it was as good a reason to meet as any I suppose.

"You know that I'm going to kill you before we leave here, right?"

"You will try," he responded. I nodded and glanced around then with one hand I took hold of my drink and with the other I grabbed the faceplate of the helmet. I slid it up, just as I tossed my drink at him. It... Did not go as planned. The drink hit him without even a reaction and as soon as the first of the birds tried to emerge he pulled up the cane and a mist began to spray out of it. It took less than a second for the mist to spread and I couldn't see anything for a few seconds. I leapt back from my chair and clear of the mist and saw him now standing up one hand holding the cane like a sword the other digging into a pocket of his jacket. My vision became slightly blurry and I saw one of the birds flying lopsidedly and it crashed into the wall. The other patrons were watching now. Everything was getting hazy. I couldn't let him get away. Couldn't let him get the best of me. I lunged and felt the point of the cane stab into me, but I also felt my machete slide into the flesh of his neck. I heard a thunk as something heavy fell onto the ground and then... Well I remember a scream and then pain and the sensation of flight and then I woke up sometime later.

O'brien's was in shambles. There was a piece of shrapnel embedded in the upper part of the helmet. Where we had been sitting was a large area of scorched floor and debris. I feel like I should probably have been dead. I'm pretty sure I was standing at the epicenter of a grenade explosion. He was dead though. He was lying on the ground a short bit away from the explosion. His body was torn in places and his neck was almost completely severed. The other patrons were mostly shaken, but alive except a few who had been a bit too close. I apologized for the commotion, but The Bartender said insurance would cover it and that I should go home.

It seemed like a good idea. I guess I killed 9... Or The Facet? Whatever he's called... It doesn't matter now. Something about all of this feels wrong. I... I don't feel like I won?