A note to a certain Mr. WereMagi

I spelled your name right this time. Happy?

So, I didn't have anything to do today and I spent the day just... well... Reading that other blog you found on my account. You'd think I'd be surprised to find that apparently I wrote an entirely different account of my life. Well... I'm not. I mean I've never really heard of this happening before, but the existence of other universes is basically a known factor when you work with The Gods and so obviously this is just me from another world and somehow WereMagi tapped into a version of my account that exists in both worlds. Stranger things have happened.

My alternate universe self sure had a strange life and an unhappy death, but that's what happens when you do stupid shit. I do not intend to be him. I am not going to sacrifice my life to save the world. Besides The Brute is already a thing in this universe, so I doubt that will ever be necessary. Actually that's not the only change... There were a few fundamental changes I found... One slightly more troubling than the rest.

Harold Ardy... Alternate Me's arch nemesis. I knew a Harold Ardy once...


I knew him fairly well... I only knew him for a while, but he was a part of my family...

Quite literally in fact... See my alternate universe self... I'll call him Eyeholes, never mentioned his wife's name, but I assume his wife wasn't the same as mine. See my wife's name was Maria Ardy.

Harold was the name she gave my son... So, that's pretty damn weird.

Also in case anyone is wondering we split the last names among our children. She named the boy and I named The Girl. My daughter's name was Tamara Korchaviv.

Anyway that weirdness aside... Things have been fairly simple around here. Apparently the empty house next door was bought while I was gone and the new additions to my lovely family will be moving in tomorrow morning so that will be fun. I'll have to meet them and introduce them to the way things work around here. Sandy has been surprisingly compliant by the way. I mean I figured it was just shock at first, but no... She's seemingly perfectly happy to just stay in the basement. Hell I've even rewarded her for her good behaviour by letting her come upstairs to use the facilities as opposed to my initial plan and so far she hasn't tried to capitalize on it. She's the best house guest I've ever had.

So, I'm spending tonight in a hotel.

I hate traveling out of town. I'm not worried about leaving my neighbourhood alone. The birds will watch it and make sure no one tries to do anything stupid, but I still don't like being away from my charges. It is my job to keep them safe and in line. Still, when my god tells me I have to go away for a while, I do not argue. I'm here to keep an eye on someone. It's not an unusual job. The target is some random girl. A real annoying type. Pink everywhere and talks non-stop. I can't wait to find out what The Convocation want me to do to her. Until then I'm just stuck watching her. One might be wondering why they can't just watch her themselves?

I don't know. I don't question The Convocation when they tell me to do things. Especially when it means I might get to kill some barbie girl wannabe.

This job is pretty boring so far though, so how about I tell you a bit more about myself. I already told you my name and a bit about my history, but let's talk about how I met The Convocation and came to have them nesting inside of me. That's the commonly used term for what I am by the way. I am a Nest of The Convocation. They hide inside me until I need them. Most nests cut themselves open to let the birds free of their skin, but I have this big gaping hole where my face should be that makes it much easier.

My story begins as many stories do, with a happy family. There was the father, the mother and the happy little children. Then one day there was a fire. The Father worked to get his family out safely, but failed to get himself out. He burned. He burned for a long time. He was eventually rescued. Near death. Most of his body burned away. He couldn't move, his muscles and nerves destroyed by the fire. He couldn't see his eyes having boiled away in his skull. Probably some brain damage, who knows. He survived though. It was a miracle he survived they say, but he didn't think so. He thought he should have died... So, did his wife. She couldn't deal with him anymore. Blind and paralyzed she had to provide for him. His throat was badly burned and the raspy sound of his breaths and attempts to talk grated on her ears. She left him and took the kids. He remained all alone. Nobody to provide for him. He waited to die. Then he was visited. The visitors were a large group of birds who surrounded him and told him they could fix him. All he had to do was give himself to them. Of course he agreed and they turned him into a Nest. The alterations they made to his body, made him able to move again. Made him able to speak without it hurting. Made him live again. His eyes still didn't work, but they could see for him. He didn't need those eyes anymore, he didn't need that hideous face and so, he took a machete and carved it off. Everything from just below the nose to the forehead carved away, leaving only a void. The birds look out from that void and through them he sees. They gave him his first mission. To prove his loyalty. Find the woman he loved. The woman who left him to die and kill her in turn and his children. He did so without hesitation. The birds helped him find her and he arrived one day. Carved her heart out of her chest and crushed it beneath his boot. The kids weren't there, however, to this day he doesn't know where they've gone. The birds didn't mind and called it a success and he became their servant.

He became The Faceless Bastard.

Gonna spend the rest of the night watching this girl sleep... Hope your night will be less boring then mine.