Conversations with Things that don't exist...

So, there is so far no sign of Nathan. Which is good. As I said I had things to think about. Mostly what I had to think about was what just happened. I've never seen a completely blank domain. I mean I don't believe that was The Quiet's domain, because and this is going to sound weird... It existed.

Like I don't think that place was as blank as it felt. I feel like I was being lied too... I think The creature just didn't want me to know what Domain I was in... So, it's one of the Fears potentially? A fear pretending to be The Quiet for... What purpose? I mean It's not usually a great idea to try and figure out the motives of The Fears, but... This feels like a puzzle and I really want to figure it out. I feel like it's important especially since whoever this is is now trying to get me to do things for them. I kind of want to know what fear I am serving even if I am serving rather unwillingly.

Also Sandy speaks german apparently... Which is... Strange... I mean it's not impossible she's learned german at some point, but I've always assumed she was just kind of an idiot and that doesn't jive with the idea of someone who knows a second language... I mean I know two languages, but that is because I lived in two different countries... I know for a fact Sandy was born in Canada and her parents aren't German...

... I didn't research her or anything... The Convocation gave me a dossier on her when I was told to watch her and I read it when I was bored... Actually I don't have it anymore to check, but I'm fairly sure it didn't mention anything about her learning German either...

I'm not sure why I'm focusing on this... Oh right I know why... I'm trying not to think about my big problems...

I still have no answer to what to do to Nathan. I have The Children's Defense now, but I managed to figure that out and I'm sure Nathan won't take long to figure it out either and then it's only a minor advantage and also I'm frankly not entirely sure I can kill him. I am quite legitimately worried that stabbing him in the throat might just make him angrier...

Even that isn't my real problem. With all of this I haven't had much time to think about it in the proper terms since, but I still have a vow that demands I kill myself.

I can't forget that even as other things keep distracting me.

All of these questions will need an answer... Well maybe not the Sandy thing, but all the others will need answers.

I don't yet have an answer for any of them...