Okay... I slept a bit longer than I intended to, but at least my injuries are healing nicely...

I may have slept almost a whole day...  Possibly a whole day... Stuff happened while I was asleep though.

For one thing Sandy returned with a new recruit... His name is Ryan... The moment he found out he was being essentially conscripted into a supernatural cult, however he wanted to be called Shadow... We're calling him Ryan. I mean technically I suppose he should be called 2, but fuck that shit...

I'll probably get him to write up a post or something... The Facet still has access to the Children's Blog, but I don't really want to use it so, I guess unless I want to figure out his deal and write it down myself, I'll have to let someone else post on my precious blog...

More importantly...

I talked to the voice in my head and got some answers... Kind of...

So, when I questioned the voice speaking to me about who it was, it ignored me at first and so I told it I know it's not The Quiet and that this is all some kind of scam at which point it responded.

"It's no scam... We are not the Quiet, but nothing we have said is untrue... We seek as well the coming of The Quiet and are doing what we can to bring forth it's arrival. The only falsehood has been our identity and perhaps we could tell you... We are The Choir, but not..." they answered.

"What does that mean?"

"The Choir is... Almost like a hivemind, like EAT or The Convocation, but not... We are more like The Dying Man... Part of one entity, but separated. Many minds making up one mass and mostly working together to achieve our goals, occasionally, however there is strife... We are a Rogue Choir Mind... Imagine if part of your conscious mind just suddenly decided to think it's own thoughts. That is what we are... If you wish to refer to us specifically... You may call us Coda. We feel that would be appropriate,"

"I don't know what that is so I'll just take you at your word... So, next question why?"

"Sorry?"

"Why do you want The Quiet to end this universe?"

"Because we are bored with it. This universe bores us and we wish it to end. We will remain and end with it and we will be alleviated of our boredom," it answered.

"Oh well... That's a reason I suppose,"

"Of course as you undoubtedly already know we are not the entirety of The Children's Benefactors... There are two others who work with us. We provide the illusions and the messages, the others provide the knowledge and the protections that keep The Children safe and working. Though you yourself succeeded in circumventing our protection once,"

"Oh right that's a good point... Why the hell did you want me dead? If you're the one giving the orders then you were the one who ordered my 'erasure'"

"We... Regret that-"

"-Because it turned out bad?"

"Yes, we figured you for a threat... That eventually your masters would send you after us either way so we sought to eliminate you first... It was a poor decision... We should have approached it more... Intelligently... Had we known what your daughter knew about your past we would have sent her and your son more diplomatically..."

"Probably still wouldn't have worked,"

"You are correct... They hated you and wanted you dead,"

"Not what I was thinking, but yeah that too..."

"Are you satisfied with our answers for now?"

"I suppose so... Although I would like to point out... We are not friends... We are allies, because I can't currently kill you, but you tried to have me killed and you bear responsibility for all that has happened to me since that decision, but luckily for you... I hate The Convocation and That pompous Archangel asshole even more. So, we're allies and I will help you bring the Quiet and end this worthless universe,"

"That is an acceptable arrangement," it said and then I woke up... That entire conversation having happened in a dream in which I thought I had already been awake. I'm fairly sure the conversation was real though... Probably... Anyway not much else to say and I need to go have a talk with The Facet about some things... Nothing important, just talk about future plans and stuff..."

Conversations with Things that don't exist...

So, there is so far no sign of Nathan. Which is good. As I said I had things to think about. Mostly what I had to think about was what just happened. I've never seen a completely blank domain. I mean I don't believe that was The Quiet's domain, because and this is going to sound weird... It existed.

Like I don't think that place was as blank as it felt. I feel like I was being lied too... I think The creature just didn't want me to know what Domain I was in... So, it's one of the Fears potentially? A fear pretending to be The Quiet for... What purpose? I mean It's not usually a great idea to try and figure out the motives of The Fears, but... This feels like a puzzle and I really want to figure it out. I feel like it's important especially since whoever this is is now trying to get me to do things for them. I kind of want to know what fear I am serving even if I am serving rather unwillingly.

Also Sandy speaks german apparently... Which is... Strange... I mean it's not impossible she's learned german at some point, but I've always assumed she was just kind of an idiot and that doesn't jive with the idea of someone who knows a second language... I mean I know two languages, but that is because I lived in two different countries... I know for a fact Sandy was born in Canada and her parents aren't German...

... I didn't research her or anything... The Convocation gave me a dossier on her when I was told to watch her and I read it when I was bored... Actually I don't have it anymore to check, but I'm fairly sure it didn't mention anything about her learning German either...

I'm not sure why I'm focusing on this... Oh right I know why... I'm trying not to think about my big problems...

I still have no answer to what to do to Nathan. I have The Children's Defense now, but I managed to figure that out and I'm sure Nathan won't take long to figure it out either and then it's only a minor advantage and also I'm frankly not entirely sure I can kill him. I am quite legitimately worried that stabbing him in the throat might just make him angrier...

Even that isn't my real problem. With all of this I haven't had much time to think about it in the proper terms since, but I still have a vow that demands I kill myself.

I can't forget that even as other things keep distracting me.

All of these questions will need an answer... Well maybe not the Sandy thing, but all the others will need answers.

I don't yet have an answer for any of them...

Info Whores

So, I arrived at a meeting place specified by The Archive. I met one of them... They gave me a name, but I couldn't care enough to remember it. Broker insert random ancient alphabet letter here.

They told me they'd tell me what they know in return for me doing a short job for them. I won't recount it here, but I might later. Suffice to say it was bloody and bloody good fun.

The information they gave me was mostly useful, but nothing that will be directly helpful dealing with 11 and 12. Apparently they've done a pretty good job, of figuring out names though. They obviously knew the Ex-archivists name. Michael Lawson apparently.

But, in preparation for our meeting they also took a look at the blog and using the backstory Zero gave they identified her as well. Her name was Emelia Hausier. They also looked into 11 and 12 for me and found out their identities as well. They told me, however that I'd need to pay extra for their real names. I told them they could go fuck themselves as I had no need to know the names of two dead kids. Anyway... One of the things they told me, I won't recount here since they apparently read my blog and that information will be much more useful if they don't know I have it. The other somewhat useful bit of information I've got is that they can be harmed. When Michael first showed up to strike a new deal with the Archive one of the Martyr's took a swing at him. The attack went right through, but Michael still reacted like he was hit and showed a mark on his cheek like as though he'd been hit. Similar to how 11 reacted when I tried to decapitate her. This means a few things. I'm still thinking them through, but I will have ample opportunity to test my theories soon. I'm going to be heading back to my neighbourhood to go make sure they haven't started an actual rebellion or anything yet and I might just try out my theory on the boy. Teach him to run that mouth of his...

God I hope this works. I cannot deal with the idea of these two punk ass kids making a mockery of me again.

Edit: Thought of a better title for this post. Changed it.

Sources of Knowledge

So, I'm seeking out what sources of knowledge I can on these two. The most useful sources of knowledge are of course The Archive and EAT. The Archive are... Essentially information brokers who are arguably neutral though they do worship one of the Gods, by the common name of The Blind Man. EAT is herself one of the gods, but generally works through extensions of herself called The Camper. I don't understand the name either. I had to leave my little neighbourhood in order to meet with both.

I don't like the idea of leaving here. Who knows what those two psycho kids will do while I'm gone.

However, it's not like I can do much here either, so I guess this is a necessary evil. Hopefully when I get back I can fucking mutilate both of these children in front of everyone. That will put the fear of me back into their traitorous hearts... Then I'll probably kill a bunch of them anyway for having said traitorous hearts.

I'm going to EAT first. It is more likely to provide information without cost or great cost at least.